Cause I'm Broken When I'm Open
by KeepMovingForward
Summary: It wasn't supposed to happen like this. He wasn't supposed to walk into the Great Hall and see her lying there, cold, unmoving, gone. Blaise wasn't supposed to be bent over her body, sobbing his heart out. Blaise's parents weren't supposed to be embracing each other, broken. Theo wasn't supposed to be running towards her, grabbing her hand, begging for her to come back to him.


**Hermione is a pureblood (Blaise's twin) and she's betrothed to Theodore Nott. He loses her before they can get married, this is a songfic about the two of them.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or this song. **

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. He wasn't supposed to walk into the Great Hall and see her lying there, cold, unmoving, gone. Blaise wasn't supposed to be bent over her body, sobbing his heart out. Blaise's parents weren't supposed to be embracing each other, broken. Theo wasn't supposed to be running towards her, grabbing her hand, begging for her to come back to him. Draco shouldn't have been standing besides him, silent tears running down his cheeks, trying to drag him away from _her _body. How could he leave her? He loved her, he loved her so, so bloody much. He glanced down at her ring finger, where the ring he'd given her when they'd found out about the betrothal still lay. Shining much to brightly against her pale skin.

_I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh_

_I want to hold you high and steal your pain away_

_I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well_

_I want to hold you high and steal your pain away_

He missed her. All the bloody time, she was always on his mind. He missed her laugh, her shining eyes, her everything. All he had left was the engagement ring and a few photographs. He knew his parents would be arranging for another marriage, they certainly couldn't go without an heir. It wouldn't be the same though. He'd never love her, he couldn't. He loved _her _with his entire being, with every breath, with every thought. It would always be her, always.

'_Cause I'm broken when I'm open_

_And I don't feel like I am strong enough_

'_Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome_

_And I don't feel right when you're gone away_

He remembered Blaise at the funeral. They'd been so close, Blaise would've done anything for her. He would've taken that curse that for if he'd been there. Theo remembered the way the Zabinis sobbed. There was no shame in it at all. Usually, a pureblood would be ashamed to be showing so much weakness, but every person there was sobbing. Theo had sat beside Blaise with the rest of the family since they had been betrothed. His body shaking as he watched her coffin being carried in, his eyes so blurry with tears he could barely see it. So wrapped up in his own grief that he could barely hear the speakers. Then, when it finally came time to lower her into the ground he remembered looking at the ring one more time. There was no way he could ever give it to someone else, it belonged to her and _only _her. He could only imagine how much it would kill him to see it on someone else's finger. At the last second he had them slip it in with the rest of the items she was to be buried with. Then he watched, sobbing, as they placed her in the earth and each person threw a handful of dirt onto the coffin. He remembered seeing Draco then, shaking so hard and trying to hold in the tears. He'd been close with her too of course.

Pansy and Daphne stood together, clutching each other and crying. She'd been their best friend, and now she was gone. She'd meant so much to all of them, and they'd have to adjust to life without her. He watched as Draco strode towards Pansy and gathered her into his arms. Daphne hurried over to Blaise and the two held on to each other and sobbed, watching the grave diggers continue to burry her. He was jealous that his two best friends still had the ones they loved. He didn't have _her _anymore. He was mad at the stupid Boy-Who-Just-Wouldn't-Die for starting this stupid war and getting her killed. He was mad that he hadn't known she was in harms way, that he hadn't protected her. He was mad at the universe for taking her from him.

_The worst is over now and we can breathe again_

_I want to hold you high, you steal my pain away_

_There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight_

_I want to hold you high and steal your pain_

He got married eventually to a women his parents had chosen. He didn't love her though. She was a great person, a good friend. He knew she'd fallen for him, but he couldn't love her the same way. Not, not after _her. _He made sure it was clear before they got married that he wouldn't, _couldn't_, stop loving _her. _Even if she had passed on. He still went to see her, at the grave, every week. He wished more than anything for her to be with him, he wanted more than anything for them to be together again. He knew he hurt his wife every time he left to go there, but he couldn't stay away. The two of them had a son together, eventually. He knew his wife wanted more children but he just couldn't do it.

He stopped seeing his old friends eventually too. It was just so hard for him and Blaise to be around each other. The other reminded them to much of _her. _They had loved her the most out of everyone, losing her hit them the hardest. Draco still dropped by every now and then to make sure he was alright. Pansy was still friends with his wife and would always go out of her way whenever the children got together to bake something for him, give him a big hug and just check in on him. Daphne came by frequently, often dragging him out to lunch and then to run errands with her. Astoria came by often too. She'd tell his wife she was taking him out and then drag him over to her manor, sit him down in front of the TV her husband was so fond of, grab a huge carton of ice cream and two spoons before plopping down next to him and having a marathon. His dad would drop by unannounced and take him out to the bar, buying him as many fire whiskeys as it took for him to be able to forget _her _for just a few hours. His mother owled him every day.

Standing in front of her grave, even twenty years later, it still hurt as much as it had when he'd spotted her among the fallen in the Great Hall.

_Hermione Zabini, _he sobbed, _why did they have to take you from me?_

'_Cause I'm broken when I'm open_

_And I don't feel like I am strong enough_

'_Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome_

_And I don't feel right when you're gone away_


End file.
